You can usually tell when I'm downloading something huge - I vanish for literal days while my modem slaves away. I vanish! Heh. Yeah, that's never gonna get old to me aldkj. *is five* Anyway, I am now in possession of GaleVanished 1.02 and am going to go wallow in the speshul goodness and make screencaps until I burst from the pretty. ♥ But first!

I have a Brian-chewing-gum kink.

I even have an emoticon for it. |:O <--Brian blowing a bubble. You can tell it's Brian cos of his unibrow, duh.




AKA, What Brian Has Been Chewing For The Last 3 Decades

Disclaimer: Aside from a few packets that I created with my Photoshop mojo (= *), these are all real gums that have been sold at one time or another. And my inner gay man and I are more than amused how many are fruit flavored aldfkja.


As a kid, Brian was always drawn to the hot dog and gumballs.


Bigger the better.


And though Jack did bring him home an occassional pack after a particularly good poker night out with the guys,


his mom only allowed this kind at home. Chew it or you go to hell!


But it was no use. Brian was born loving Gay gum and its fruity flavor.


Well, those coupla times in college with Lindsay notwithstanding.


Brian likes to blow... bubbles. And it all suddenly made sense to him. He was a gum slut!


Mmm, nuts in his cheeks.


Then he met Michael and had to learn how to share his gum. It was pathetic. And it was the best thing ever.


A must for strutting down Liberty Ave, kthx.

*
Makes all his tricks look even prettier.


A regular Woody's flavor. Usually accompanied by getting up on pool tables and playing guitar.


Lick, then blow. 'Nough said why Brian loves this kind.


Anita's usual supply tapped out? No problem! Brian had Professor Poppers!


Brian nearly threw out his jaw chewing this so much.

*
Always chew safe! Even if it tastes funny.


Perfect for when Brian needs a little recharging during an orgy!


Whenever he kicked tricks out and they'd complain, Brian would give them a long look as he blew a disinterested bubble of this. Please note: Brian never kept this box. The old man made his dick soft.


Not that he thought his incredibly hot DNA needed the help, but


Brian was taking no chances when he popped in a piece of this gum as he jerked off to make Gus.


Brian never actually got to chew these. He wouldn't let anyone cut the wrapper off.


But he did offer to share some of his Shalom gum with Melanie.


She was not amused. Brian stole the rest of the box when she wasn't looking.


Gay tongue in cheek, he saved this gum for Pride. There was nothing gayer than Xtreme Fruit.


See what happens when you chew Cutie Fruity gum? You attract cutie stalkers fruity twinks


who chew gay gum too


and are definitely bootylicious.


Such hot memories for Brian that first night he brought Justin home.


Which led Brian to this pack. Now you know what chewing is! Cinnamon flavored, but Gale Brian says it should be cumin.


Or maybe this.


Or maybe this. It's so wrong it's perfectly right.


Not long after Justin showed up, Brian found himself buying Princess gum a lot. When Michael questioned him, Brian just stared dreamily at the package and declared it "sweet".

*
And then it happened -- Brian couldn't get enough. He had to have this order specially made.

*
Then gave up and just bulk ordered it by the bucket.


Always in his pocket, since his stalker is not always available during boring slideshows or business meetings. Definitely tastes like Justin, AKA like Cheerios and weed.


Which makes Brian want his humpy puppy gum 24/7.


Especially when ice cream was involved.

*
Brian might have had a gum rep.


But Justin had his own issues. "Quit blaming the gum," Brian would smirk with a swat to the area in question.


And Justin would shut him up by threatening to reveal one of Brian's beauty secrets. How else do you think he maintains those impressive pubes?

*
And Brian would grin wide and chew this. Justin always dared him to try.


Some laughing wrestling later and suddenly they'd be lighting up sharing a stick of this Bong Water joint gum.


That's one of Justin's art eraser, not gum. Something Brian rediscovered the hard way one drunken night. Fucking deceptive advertising.


Not that Justin ever let him forget it with this gift. "Hey, eat your own art supplies!"


After that fateful night, Brian banned these from his or Justin's presence.


And Brian learned why they called it Sunshine gum.


He may not have been able to smoke in a hospital, but there was always this trusty pack of gum. Because some things are just too painful to remember.


And then Justin came back to the loft and Brian had to be focused on his recovery,


even at the risk of getting a case of these.


Especially boys who like violin music more than gum


and make Brian an emo boy


who spends a couple months scribbling on his gum boxes.


Brian found himself chewing this one a lot. Soon as you pop it in, the creamy inside floods your mouth. It was almost like Justin was there. Aww, it's call boy gum.


So Brian concentrated on being the best homosexual ad man he could. And learned that politics can be like blowing the biggest bubble of your career... and have it pop right in your face. So sticky.


So while Brian enjoyed his gum


and never thought about quitting


and refused to save money buying second-hand,


he did have to switch to penny gum for awhile. Fucking, Stockwell.


But everything was more than okay. Justin was back. Justin had a job and, better yet, had priorities on how to spend their money.


And, well, if it got around that Brian sent Ethan a little present,


Brian would just blame his gum.


A lot of this green apple gum was used in the making of Kinnetik.


Brian called it his Justinposse gum.


Then came a trip to the doctor and suddenly Brian's fun bits weren't having so much fun anymore.


So Brian sent some moral support.


And Justin put him on herbal gum.


After Chinese food on the floor with his boyfriend, Brian was known to pull out his pack of this. In bed.


And then Brian Jr. was back in a big way.


So they measured it.


Betcha $50 Brian was totally chewing this on the Liberty ride when he went *thud*. Tastes like dirt!


Popping this gum loudly, Brian got his point across just how much that spill hurt, fuck you very much.


And of course, Brian lit up opened up a pack of this to feel better. Amaretto flavor, my ass.


Brian is always so deep, man, when he's high.


When Justin went west, he told Brian he's always be his California fruit, he loved him and he'd be back. But he didn't think Brian got the message.


So he sent Brian a case. Brian bitched about it not matching his decor. But smiled when he put it in his mouth.


Then Brian and Justin both spent an entire season months chewing this gum and no one really knew what was going on.


For those times your dick gets the syphilis, try some Sluticillin!

But none of that mattered because it all came down to this...

The Brian Kinney Gum Truth:


Brian spent years chewing his old favorite. Maximum of flavor, minimum of wrapping.


But it was all about the Luv gum for Justin, and before Brian knew it, he was buying it by the case too. ♥

And last but not least...

Brian's Fantasy:



And they blew happily ever after. ♥

NOTES

1. The green apple gum is from an Extra ad. Totally a Kinnetik account if life were an AU.
2. The Sex Gum has actual herbal aphrodisiacs alfkja. CowLip so missed that boat during the cancer storyline. Justin could have bought Brian that, omg. Then again, I would have missed Brian's "ew, yak" face. And that would make me sad.